I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a while, as there are
so many sceptics regarding Diana’s BPD. Whenever someone raises doubt that
Diana was in fact Borderline, I automatically assume that they know very little
about Borderline Personality Disorder.
Born in the year of the Royal Wedding, I grew up loving Princess Diana. There isn’t a biography of hers that I haven’t read. Of course I pay particular attention to Her True Story, by Andrew Morton because we now know that she contributed directly to its contents, even down to its editing which she did by hand. It’s the closest we have to her autobiography.
Not being rude or meaning to sound arrogant, but is seems
clear to me that anyone who know basic facts about Diana’s life, and basic
diagnostic criteria for BPD would come to the same conclusion I have - slam
dunk diagnosis. Diana was Borderline.
But before we even look at the evidence, first we must wipe
the slate clean of the idea that attributing this personality disorder to
Princess Diana is in any way derogatory. Stigma 101 associates shame with all
types of mental illness and BPD is one of the most maligned conditions in the
field of mental health so it’s important to spell this out.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a condition produced by a
combination of environmental factors and genetic predisposition. It has no more to do with a person’s
character than a broken leg has to do with that person’s character.
Proposing that Diana had BPD and investigating the evidence
to support that claim is important. She was a very well known, much loved
figure and, like all human beings, her public life can be better understood
when we understand more about her private life.
Some will (I want to say ignorantly, but I’ll settle for
falsely) argue that it is an insult to her memory to associate her with any
mental condition, let alone BPD. I disagree. The truth is always worth hearing.
And in this case, Diana is as inspirational in death as she was in life, being
who she was.
Diana was deeply invested in helping those in society she
saw as being the most maligned, and most needing care. As she said herself, “Anywhere I see suffering, that is
where I want to be, doing what I can.”
During her life Diana was open about her pain. She spoke
about her bulimia, her depressions, her self-mutilation, her suicide attempts,
and her chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
“When no one listens to you, or you feel no one’s listening to you, all
sorts of things start to happen,” she said.
“You have so much pain inside yourself that
you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help, but it’s the
wrong help you’re asking for … I didn’t like myself; I was ashamed because I
couldn’t cope with the pressures.”
She talked about what she looked for in a romantic partner,
“I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure.”
She was known to have intense
interpersonal relationships with individuals, and then one day without notice,
cut them off. She was known to have intense mood swings, and is quoted as
joking about them to her private secretary, “Stand by for a mood swing, boys!”
She was known, especially early
in the marriage, to throw huge (sometimes) violent tantrums, or to scream and
cry hysterically when arguing. By her own account she cut herself and at least
in one instance threw herself down a flight of stairs in response to Prince
Charles leaving Balmoral.
There are countless examples of
her problems with relationships, behaviours that were harmful to her and her
intense, almost unbearable suffering.
Diana was open about her extremely low self-esteem.
When speaking about the attention she received during Royal Tours in the
earlier years of her marriage. Speaking of herself in the third person she
remarked, “Little did [the public] realise
that the individual was crucifying herself inside because she didn't think she
was good enough."
I draw attention to Diana’s BPD because she
is a fantastic example of how brilliant a Borderline can be. By most accounts,
she single handedly changed the world’s understanding and attitude towards
AIDS, bulimia and land mines.
Yet sadly she did not live in a time that
could offer her BPD the recognition, understanding and treatment she needed and
deserved. Diana did not have to suffer the way she did in her life – none of us
do.
Wow! Beautiful post! What an excellent tribute!
ReplyDeleteThis is a terrible tribute written by someone who is delirious. She has read the BPD criteria, and read things about Dianna. This does not make it factual. This article is extremely disrespectful to Dianna.
DeleteI wonder how William and Harry would respond to others that portrayed their mother with this illness that can mimic many other conditions. Has anyone ever thought of the possibility of an electrolyte imbalance that contributed to her....'mood swings'? Whatever the human weaknesses she may of had, she is and always will be one in a million due to her golden heart and the true caring for others she provided.
DeleteMatt frederickson, accept the truth. Writing facts doesn't make someone delirious. All it shows to me is your total ignorance of mental health, shame on you.
DeleteActually working in the field that I do, I COMPLETELY agree with this diagnosis. I suspected this about her for a LONG time; it's how I found this site - I was googling Diana and BPD. Thank you for validating what my intuition was already telling me.
DeleteIt is sad that princess Diana had a Borderline Personality Disorder if she was not stricken with that I feel she could have a lot more on this earth. A lot of her actions indicated she was BPD and though everyone and particularly her sons feel the pain every time they think of her she is in a much better place than this earth which has deteriorated to a frightening level.
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DeleteThis is an opinion but it is based on characteristics of BPD and of behaviors exhibited by Diana. I think it sounds very right on. I have lived with people close to me with various PDs, and I can tell you where there is great difficulty in a relationship with someone, it oftens points to this type of problem. It is maligned because they blame everyone else, are resistant to therapy because of that, have vicious tongues, and do split the world into black and white, they have complete double standards, the world must meet there standards, while they can behave any way they want to. I am certain the pressures of becoming a royal in an unloving marriage exacerbated her symptoms, however, those who have not run across a person who had a PD just do not understand that it isn't all that difficult to diagnose yourself once you read up on the basic behavior patterns, and have to deal with the behaviors personally. Also there is a worldwide percentage of over 6% of womem suffer from one kind of personality disorder or the other. So, argue on, but to me this young man is very right!
DeleteThank you for posting this. Imagine how deeply she suffered, apart from the way she had to live, she was also borderline. My God, WHY don't this stupid world understand mental illness? I'm doing my best to change this.
ReplyDeleteBPD is not a mental illness it's a disorder and this article is wrong. This lady has " Read the criteria For BPD and read things about Dianna" and has Grossly mis-diagnosed her. she is not a professional and has no right to diagnose her. If Dianna had BPD you would see her yelling and screaming all the time over small things like Steve Jobs and John Macenroe Dianna did not have this.
DeleteI don't think it's disrespectful to ponder over the health of someone who was as open about their health, particularly their mental health, as Diana was, as the writer intended, I don't think this piece of writing is disrespectful to her memory. The idea of Diana having BPD does not come from this blogger alone.
DeleteAn excerpt from 'BPDfamily':
'Generally high functioning, it is not unusual for a person with BPD to graduate from college or become a doctor or lawyer. Princess Diana and Marilyn Monroe were reputed to have suffered with Borderline Personality Disorder. They had the ability to "be apparently competent" that often leads loved ones and professionals to trivialize their profound suffering and to deny the appropriate recognition or care required by this painful and persistent illness'.
Yelling and screaming doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with BPD; as with all conditions, it expresses itself differently, in accordance with that persons individuality, and well, as in first aid, it's the quiet ones we need to pay extra attention to, as they're at the most risk, and we shouldn't dismiss such people just because they don't follow type.
It's clear you care about her memory; she was a wonderful human being! A person first, any illness second...
Bpd is a mental health illness Matt. Please stop writing about matters you clearly have no knowledge of, its really frustrating when people like you make judgements like saying someone with bpd eould ve screaming and crying?! Seriously, reading your comments are so sad and very unfair for all bpd sufferers, who by the way are not deranged individual's, which you clearly think they are. I am really fed up of people lije you saying someone with a serious mental health illness yells and screams. I'm disgusted and in this day and age people should stop classing mental health as a crazy illness. Matt please do some research on bpd before you offend anyone else.
DeleteBpd is a mental health illness Matt. Please stop writing about matters you clearly have no knowledge of, its really frustrating when people like you make judgements like saying someone with bpd eould ve screaming and crying?! Seriously, reading your comments are so sad and very unfair for all bpd sufferers, who by the way are not deranged individual's, which you clearly think they are. I am really fed up of people lije you saying someone with a serious mental health illness yells and screams. I'm disgusted and in this day and age people should stop classing mental health as a crazy illness. Matt please do some research on bpd before you offend anyone else.
DeleteTo Mr Fredrickson
Deleteits Diana by the way I think it is you who does not understand!
I am someone who knows about PD's and long before her death I suspected the Princes had BPD troubled life when she was young,eating disorder, self-harm (cutting herself with glass) and the obvious relationship problems with people
This article shows her as a good person who needed help
Sorry, it's being called an illness so people that have majored in soft sciences can work with and "treat" these people, but really, it's a characterological problem. Trust me, I've worked around BPD patients and I lived with one growing up.
DeleteWrong.
DeleteBPD is no more a “characterological” problem than diabetes or cystic fibrosis.
Sorry!
Depends on how you define "character." BPD is defined, along with mental retardation, as an "Axis II" disorder, meaning the person's character is that way, as in, "They act/feel this way all the time." As opposed to the shade of meaning in the word "character" that most of us mean: The person willfully intends to be this way out of malevolence and could change if they wanted to." In Diana's case, as with all people with BPD, the former definition applies.
DeleteI grew up with someone with this and my shelves are lined with every book on the disorder there is. I struggled with my relationship with my mother for many, many years. Therefore, I feel for all who were involved. BPD is horrible for the sufferer, but also horrible for the spouse and any minor children involved. The young Princes were fortunate in that they had two homes, two parents, their grandparents, and a nanny, which could provide a balanced perspective in their lives. I did not, and have struggled my life long with the fallout.
Thank you. It really is very sad that she could not have received understanding and treatment.
ReplyDeleteYou do not know anything about BPD and you are delirious to think that you know Dianna well enough to write about Her like this. I suffer from DPD and I have read and watch Dianna also. You say Dianna was known to have "Violent tantrums "to use your words. EVERYBODY react like this from time to time especially when You live with people you love who are hurting you. BPD suffers have problems regulating their emotions over very small day to day things. Ie Steve Jobs, and John Macenroe are good examples of BPD sufferers . If Diana had this you would see her react like that over very small things all the time you've never see this. Bellemia, are suicide have nothing to do with it either. It's true some BPD cut themselves but some people who don't suffer from this also do these things. Typically BPD sufferers can't have relationship. I don't mean to be rude to you but you really have this wrong, and it's very difficult to explain this to someone who has not had experience of it only read about it. What I'm about to say is going to sound awful and stigmatising and I apologies ( but it's the truth) BPD sufferers are frequently called " horrible people to be around ( Yale university lectures description, ) therapists typically don't want to treat them because the horrific to deal with. you do not know the extent of what you are talking about this is and extremely extremely disorder. you're taking about someone with very ordinary day to day experiences and turning it into something because you wanna believe it. I will guarantee you ...you are wrong on this ! And you are being respectful to her
ReplyDeleteYou are ignorant. It is you who has no idea about BPD...evidently. It is wrong to say these people are horrible to be around and completely false that therapists don't want to treat them. You are perpetuating a stigma that contributes to the shame bpd sufferers already feel...no wonder they fight to hide it. You criticise the writer for suggesting Diana suffered from bpd yet you assert the falsehood that McEnroe and Jobs have it!! You are very much misformed about what bpd actually is.
Deleteas a BPD suffer i also found matts comment very offensive, He seems to just be quoting stereo types. This yale university lecturer also sounds very ignorant about what BPD is really like. People tend to like my company. I am a caring person, and I am very sensitive to the needs of others. My relationship problems manifest in the following way: i feel a lack of a solid sense of self, and sometimes when I am relating to people more intimately I space out, and I lose connection with my sense of who I am and become uncomfortable and feel strange. This can often make me come accross as awkward shy and anxious. When my symptoms are happening alot, I find myself withdrawing from people. I dont attack people or become angry with them. In fact, I am much more prone to blame myself then others (self blaming is a feature of BPD). In romantic relationships I have a tendency to mesh with my partner, and i think i do get more easily hurt and offended then the average person, but over the years I have become very aware of my tendencies, and dont lash out very often. My triggers are abandonement or rejction (which is typical) and usually my romantic relationships are fairly undramatic unless my boyfriend decides to end the relationship for whatever reason. This is where my symptoms usually get out of control. I turn into an obssesed stalker. Not malicious at all tho, just wanting them back in my life, a kind of desparation. this is my experience of BPD
Deleteo and to add to what matt said about therapists. I do think therapists find me difficult. i dont know if this is typical of BPD sufferers, but it is my experience. I think i find therapy challenging because of the relationship element. Like i said, i have trouble maintaining a sense of who I am in intimacy, and the therapist client relationship requires a great deal of intimacy but it is one sided. You tell them alot of personal things. I think the inherant power dynamic of that, and the fact that I dont feel i can "hold my own" because my sense of self can be so shaky- well, this manifests in a consious and unconsious resistance and resentment toward the therapy process. Because of this I have found therapy probably more frustrating then the therapist has, because i do want to get better, but therapy just feels kinda impossible for me. My soloution has been to just practice mindfulness mediation- which is actually now prescribed to treat BPD (as part of the DBT therapy). this has helped alot i think. I have been doing it for ten years. I do still try to make therapy work. I am n a waiting list to see a BPD specialist psychologist, and hope maybe it will be easier working with her
DeleteI was reading about Di just now, about her childhood and about her marriage and other relationships and I came to the same conclusion. Obviously so have alot of others. I was listening to placebo last week and it dawned on me that Brian Molko has bpd and I googled that to find that again alot of others have also.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I doubt that she was suffering from anything more than 'crap marriage' syndrome from being married to unfaithful jug ears, and the effects of upper class ancestoral inbreeding, which can turn their own sort a bit loopy.
ReplyDeleteWell, right, but most people, if having a conflict with their stepmother, can think of other things to do besides push her down the stairs, and most people, no matter how upset they are with their husband, can think of some way to handle it other than slashing their skin. Not being able to calm down enough to do so is typical of BPD.
DeleteI would love to see you write more! very interesting thoughts! Thank you for posting this
ReplyDeleteBPD for the most part is hidden from outsiders in many cases. Some openly act out,others clam shut and act inwards. Some cannot maintain a public facade, some can create a solid one. What see for the most part is not what you have got.
ReplyDeletemost outsiders can merely state that someone exhibits borderline traits. It takes someone within intimate knowledge of a person or a trained professional with full access and disclosure to tell for sure.
It is certain than an outsider cannot rule BPD out, as an outsider never has the whole picture
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ReplyDeleteI felt like stopping reading at "genetic predisposion", which is some kind of magical factor that has never been proven. Putting this in your article like a given fact, one can only doubt the other facts you put up here. Even if one doesnt think more deeply about so called bpd and the "facts" around it, set this article asside. This is a disgrace.
ReplyDeleteUm, actually, it is a fact. Look for a book called "Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder" by Manning, who is a recognized expert and trained under Marsha Linehan.
DeleteI`m a psychologist and CBT therapist, and I have the same idea as you about Diana`s BPD. Maybe she got a diagnosis, but the theraphy isn`t easy and fast, so it could be difficult to help her effectively. Thanks for great blog. With regards Ola.
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ReplyDeleteI just watched a special on Diana. It revealed that she had tantrums, outbursts,was cutting, had an eating disorder and wanted someone to save her and make her feel secure. I came across this blog while researching if anyone had suspected Diana had BPD. I strongly believe that she did. Thank you for writing this post. We need to learn and teach others about this very difficult personality disorder.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the author of the article:Princess Diana clearly was a borderline. A textbook case, in fact. I have a close family member with BPD. The symptoms are exactly the same. To me, Princess Diana looked the type who could come unglued at any time. The televised interview where she talks about her husband's affair with the then Camilla Parker-Bowles is "drama-queen, poor-me" moment that is so typical of BPDs
ReplyDeleteThis was really really good. It's so sad to hear that Princess Diana had Borderline Personality Disorder. Personally, reading about how she threw herself down a flight of stairs, screaming violently, and having moods swings is something I'm still learning to grasp as real. But she was a good woman who did the best she could and in many ways I relate to and love her honesty, poise, and beauty as a woman.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I thought that myself when studying her the past few days. It dawns on me that she is Borderline. Classic case. I feel so badly that she couldn't achieve the healing state that is possible for this disorder. It's so blissful to pull yourself out of the pit and heal and grow and become whole. I cried when I realized she never got to feel the relief of healing from BPD.
ReplyDeleteI just completed Season 4 of 'The Crown', where I saw so many symptoms in Diana that she might be BDP, that I decided to search it in Google, and boom...here I am.
ReplyDeleteHaving been setup up in an arranged style marriage and suffered at the hands of a spouse (now ex) who has this, I recognized many similarities in Di that I had lived through myself with my ex.
The extremely difficult thing Ive learned about BDP is that someone may go through their life with friends and relatives never having and idea that they are going through this... Its seems only if you live with someone 24/7 that a novice may be able to start picking up that there is something very abnormal going on with this person.
Its clearly a very difficult situation for them... BUT spare a thought also for the person who married them... they are sure to suffer badly! They are quite, quite, quite impossible people!